Some parents may think that being harsh and hitting their children is the most successful way to get them to increase their memorization of Qur’an. This is quite commonly found in the countries like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh etc.
However, this is far from the truth and not necessarily always required. Harshness and hitting should only be used as a last resort.
It may reach such an extreme that some parents actually approach the Qur’an teacher, saying, “For you is his flesh, and for us are his bones.”
In other words, we give you permission to use whichever harsh method you wish with the child, as long as the final result is that he memorizes the Qur’an. And sometimes the child may be less than six years of age!
This is truly a terrible and oppressive approach. It is a cause of major failure and is farthest from the correct and successful approach.
The Prophet (pbuh) is our best example. He was the greatest educator and the keenest on benefiting his ummah, and he was gentle with them. Our Lord, Most Glorified, said regarding him,
“Truly, a Messenger from among yourselves has come to you. He grieves over what you suffer, is concerned about you, and to the believers, he is compassionate and merciful.” [Surah at-Tawbah]
His mercy and gentleness with the believers is clearly manifested in his honorable command, wherein he stated, “Order your children to pray when they are seven, and hit them regarding it once they reach ten (years of age).” [Abu Dawood]
This honorable prophetic instruction contains a great lesson for those who reflect on it. He is guiding us to order our child to perform the prayer, which is the main pillar of our religion, once they reach the age of seven.
After that, we should persistently order them to pray, doing so with love and compassion, as well as seriousness, until they reach the age of ten.
In most cases, the result of such continuous encouragement is that the child will be consistent in performing his prayers, lovingly and willingly. This is due to the fact that he was never forced to do so.
However, once they reach the age of ten and the method of kindness and encouragement did not produce its expected fruits, then at that point, the benefit of hitting the child as a treatment for this problem becomes apparent.
Even in the exceptional circumstances where hitting becomes permissible, there are strict Islamic guidelines which one must learn and implement, as the purpose of hitting is not to cause physical or mental harm, rather it is to show the child the seriousness of the matter.
This honorable prophetic guideline may also be applied to children while they memorize the Qur’an. Thus, there is no need to start hitting the child from the start or for trivial reasons.
If the child gets accustomed to not doing anything until he gets hit, this will become his nature or it may turn him into a hostile and aggressive person. Worse than that, it may destroy his self-confidence and make him live in constant fear and apprehension.
The parents can vary their methods of discipline to correct their child’s misbehavior. They can issue strict warnings sometimes and offer encouragements and rewards at other times. Allah most High knows best.”